Ah, the question most parents ask when it’s time for a break from school. Your student is returning home after a semester of academic challenges and a whirlwind of activity. While you have been anticipating the wonderful interaction and quality time you will spend together, your student may be worn out after finals, worrying about grades, or contemplating changing majors. Don’t be shocked if he or she wants to hit the couch, turn on the TV and watch endless reruns of Parks & Rec.
It doesn’t matter if your student is finishing their first semester of college or their seventh semester, finding a workable balance for the household is very important. Here are some tips to help you avoid a holiday clash with your college student:
- Prepare yourself for surprises. Ask yourself “What if?” What if he wants to stay out all night? What if she spends all her time at her friend’s house? What if his friends hang out here until 4 in the morning?
- Acknowledge their growing independence and their accomplishments. Acknowledge these changes in your conversations by changing “demands” to “choices” when negotiating new boundaries.
- Become a good listener. Your student may want to discuss changing majors, new living arrangements, or personal relationships. Try to really understand what you student is saying and ask open-ended questions. Say, for example, “Tell me more about that,” or “How did you feel when that happened?”
- Address specific topics you need to discuss. Some of these may include:
Curfews
Family time and expectations
Social events
Updates on majors and academic life
Time management issues - Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Students may be drained and running on empty. Give them time to refuel. This may mean biting your tongue if they sleep until 2 p.m. or their rooms look like the aftermath of a cyclone.
With a little preparation, you can avoid conflict and enjoy the holidays with your student.
Do you have a question for Priscilla? Ask her at pchildress@missouristate.edu.