Many students are of the mindset that once spring break’s over, the whole semester is as good as over, and they “check out”. But Spring break is actually the mid-term point, and there are still plenty of points to be earned (or not earned) in each of their classes. Indeed, even if your student has allowed him/herself to drift into mediocrity in the grayness of winter, there is plenty of time (in most cases) to turn things around. And, on the other hand, if your student is feeling really pumped about how well she/he is doing, there is still plenty of time to pull defeat from the jaws of victory! Even if the sun is shining and flowers are blooming and birds are singing and sitting in class seems like unbearable drudgery, the semester isn’t over until it’s over!
The old saying about springtime turning students’ thoughts to love seems to be quite accurate (though for that matter, on campus, any season will do!), and if you haven’t hada chat with your student about romantic relationships on campus, it would do you well to ask her/him what they’ve been observing and what he/she thinks about the all-so-common “hook-up” culture that is so prevalent. The conversation doesn’t have to be as awkward as your initial “birds and bees” talk (you HAVE had that chat, haven’t you?), but to talk honestly with your student about authentic relationships at college and beyond can be really important for both of you. Though parents often feel that what they say doesn’t matter, studies indicate that even during their college years, parents are extremely influential in shaping their opinions and attitudes, e.g., http://cpr.iub.edu/uploads/AIR%202009%20Impact%20of%20Helicopter%20Parents.pdf–don’t
worry about the title of the study; no one is accusing you of being a “helicopter parent”!). You can help your student to understand that the best long-term relationships grow out of real friendships, rather than passion or romance or obsession.
Has your student decided where she/he is going to be living next year? It’s time to seriously look into that. Living environments (especially housemates) can have a great d
eal to do with students’ abilities to succeed. These days, apartments are going up all around campus, which are very stylish and high tech and EXPENSIVE. The going rate seems to be $600 per month per bedroom with bath, and then the student shares living space and kitchen with three other individuals she/he probably won’t know. With the relatively easy student loan money available, students often see “close”, “wi-fi”, “health club”, and sometimes even “free Starbucks” and dive right in. I have no real estate interests to promote, but can tell you that there are plenty of less-expensive places to live not all that far from campus.
So, you’re getting close to having your student gone for a whole school year—how much has that impacted you? Are you comfortable with your life apart from your student’s proximity? Are you possibly enjoying (guilt-free!) some more personal time? As an older, wiser friend of mine said when I was getting anxious about my second (and last) daughter moving away, “The downside of the ‘empty nest syndrome’ has been WAY over-reported!”
Happy Spring!
(David Embree is the director of Christian Campus House and teaches in the Department of Religious Studies at Missouri State University. You can contact him via DEmbree@MissouriState.edu.)