Boy this summer flew! It’s time to go back to school! Always an exciting time in the household. But this year is different, isn’t it?  You’re about to be the family member of a college student. Think about that for a moment. You’ve done your job, you’ve raised an adult that is ready to take on this new experience called college. Now it’s time to partner with the Missouri State to offer support and resources that will help them be successful while letting your son/daughter grow into a strong, independent adult.

Here are just a few pieces of advice I would like to share to help this transition:

• Realize the academic challenges are much different from high school. They will have to study harder and independently.  Remind your son/daughter of the many resources on campus to help them be successful.  These resources include, the Bear CLAW our tutoring center on campus. Many students think tutoring is not for them…it is! The Bear CLAW offers tutoring in most subjects from math to biology to writing an effective paper. Remind your student that the syllabus they got on the first day of class will be their friend.  Encourage them to make copies of the syllabus from each class, post copies in their room by their desk and make a binder for their classes with their syllabus being the first page.
• Understand your student might start college with the goal of being a doctor. They might end their four years with a degree in communication. A high percentage of students change their majors and their goals as they go through college. Support your student as they work through the process of changing a major and explore other opportunities. It’s all about your student.
• Encourage your student to get to know their professors. They need to introduce themselves to the professor, ask questions and take advantage of the office hours professors set aside just to talk to students. The professor can be a vital player in the life of your student and down the road, a reference as your student applies for internships and jobs.
• Set expectations early. Discuss what information you want your student to share with you. What do you expect from their grades? Do you want them to have a job during the school year? Review the Student Code of Conduct. Will they share the bill from the college with you? Will they sign FERPA forms so you can have access (just a note: there is no blanket FERPA form at Missouri State. Your student will have to sign one for each office he wants you to have access to). Discuss the PIE Program (Partners in Education) with your student. They can sign you up I in their my.missouristate.edu portal. Having these conversations early can head off future trouble.
• Talk about communication. It’s a funny concept, right? Talking about talking. But it’s an important subject to bring up before your student heads off to college. Will you set up a certain time of the week to talk (Sunday is the day students love to talk to their family)? Will you text more than actually talk on the phone? Talk to your student about your expectations of communication.
• Ask open-ended questions. You know those conversations from the dinner table: “how was your day? Fine!” and how you learned nothing from that conversation. Ask questions that make them have to share more with you. For example, “What have you enjoyed about the transition from high school to college?” You find out more information with these questions so try to utilize them when possible.
• Know your student is going to be busy. With their school work, extra-curricular activities, hanging out with friends and hopefully, sleeping, time is tight in their schedule. Realize they aren’t ignoring you or putting the family on the back burner, they are finding their place and learning to balance multiple responsibilities.
• Send care packages, letters, and postcards to remind your student you support them and are thinking about them. Encourage other family members to write also. Students love opening that little bitty mailbox in their residence hall and pulling out a letter from home, or better yet, a slip of paper telling them they have a package at the front desk. Photos of pets, food and money are top care package requests (surprising, right?). If your student is a commuter student, leave care packages in their backpack, their car, under their door etc. Mail them a card from the dog. They will appreciate it.
• As easy as it is, don’t rush in to solve their problems for them. Now is the time for them to be independent and learn they have to take responsibility for their actions. Offer suggestions and campus resources, let them know you have confidence in their ability to handle any problem and listen. Missouri State has a fabulous counseling center available to the student. Refer them to the counseling center because sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone that is not family or friend.
• Build an adult relationship with your student. For the past 18 years, you’ve more than likely shielded your son or daughter from some of the realities of life. Now is a good time to start building a new relationship with your student. Tell them about your job and its ups-and-downs, your hobbies, and share your plans for the future. Sharing your life with your student makes them feel involved and still connected to the family.
• Don’t encourage your student to come home every weekend. Your son or daughter needs to acclimate to the campus culture, get involved (vital to a student’s success at college) with activities that stir their passions and connect with the new people surrounding them. Plus they usually have homework and need to be studying.
• Make plans to visit your student. There is a flip side to that though. Don’t surprise your student with a visit. If you surprise them, they might have plans and more than likely, they would like to clean up before you get there (yes, there will be loads of laundry everywhere). Take advantage of activities my office, Office of Family Programs, plans for family members. Family Weekend is a great time to come back to campus, take part in the activities planned for families (less for you to worry about) and see how your student has become a part of the campus. Family Weekend 2024 is September 27^th-29^th.

Sending a student to college is a wonderful time for you and your family. Bask in your student’s success and enjoy the view of their life at college. I guarantee, it’s 100% worth it!