Understanding the intricate relationship between a child’s social and emotional growth and the influences of their parents and caregivers is crucial.  

Dr. Hailey Hyunjin Choi, assistant professor in Missouri State University’s School of Teaching, Learning and Developmental Sciences, focuses on unraveling these intricate dynamics. She sheds light on how children’s developmental outcomes differ based on the traits and qualities of parents, caregivers and teachers. Specifically, Choi examines how mental health and mentalization capacity impact a child’s development. 

Her research

Choi describes herself as a child developmentalist with an interest in promoting optimal social-emotional growth.  

Young children who have robust social-emotional development are able to foster secure and positive relationships with both adults and their peers. In addition, they not only recognize but also effectively regulate and express their emotions in ways that are socially and culturally appropriate. These skills form the foundation for young children’s cognitive abilities, which are essential for achieving success in school. 

“My central research question revolves around how a child’s developmental outcomes vary according to the characteristics of parents and teachers.”

She recently submitted her research, “Enhancing Parental Reflective Functioning: Understanding the Impact of Childhood Trauma, Depressive Symptoms, and Emotion Dysregulation on Caregivers” to the Journal of Family Trauma, Child Custody and Child Development. The article was published in summer 2025. 

This research focuses specifically on mentalization. Mentalization is a concept that refers to the ability to understand both one’s own internal states and those of others. 

“Imagine a little girl playing with a stethoscope and pretending to be a doctor, only to announce, ‘Welcome to McDonald’s,’” Choi explains.  

This story illustrates how a parent’s misunderstanding of a child’s intentions can highlight the complexity of mentalization.  

Parents need to carefully connect to children’s internal worlds by looking into their emotions and thoughts. However, when you connect to a child’s internal world, you have to separate your own beliefs or thoughts about the child, seeing your child as an individual with independent feelings.  

To explore this deeper, Choi recruited caregivers of children under eight years old and gathered 270 responses through an online survey. She shared her survey in Facebook groups, schools and libraries. 

The survey questions assessed parents’ understanding of their and their children’s mental states. It included statements such as “People’s thoughts are a mystery to me” and “I always know what I feel.” 

Her other research included filming mother-child interactions during free play and coding those interactions to assess caregivers’ accuracy in interpreting their children’s mental states (e.g., emotions, thoughts, desires). The child’s emotional regulation was also measured by an examiner using emotion regulation scales. 

Choi discovered a connection: Mothers who had a better understanding of their children’s mental states had children who demonstrated improved emotional regulation. This insight highlights the significant impact parental mentalization can have on a child’s development. 

She offered an example. If a child is crying and throwing a puzzle piece, one parent who is preoccupied with their own thoughts might respond. “You shouldn’t throw the puzzle piece; that’s not right!” This parent may focus on the child’s behavior and attempt to correct it. However, a parent who connects with their child’s internal world might notice that the child is trying to assemble the puzzle but is having difficulty. They could respond with, “Oh, I see you’re frustrated because the puzzle isn’t going together as you expected. Instead of throwing a piece, how about we take a deep breath and try again together?” 

Young children often lack the ability to understand their feelings; however, when parents and teachers interpret and label their emotions, it helps children make sense of what they are experiencing. 

Legacy of trauma

“Being a parent is emotionally and physically taxing, and when parents carry the weight of childhood trauma, it becomes even more challenging.”

Research has shown people who experience trauma as children often face challenges when they become parents. Choi’s research found childhood trauma affects parenting ability in a chain reaction: Trauma can lead to depression, which can make it harder to regulate emotions, which in turn impacts how well a parent understands their child’s needs. 

“So, while understanding feelings gives children the language of emotion, managing them gives them the tools to thrive,” she said. 

Being able to regulate emotions like anger or frustration helps children respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively. Choi found that when parents struggle to interpret and respond to their child’s emotions effectively, it can contribute to emotional dysregulation in their children, reinforcing a cycle of stress and misunderstanding. By recognizing these challenges, Choi hopes her findings can inform interventions that support parents in developing stronger mentalization skills, ultimately fostering healthier emotional environments for their children. 

Her personal connection

Choi’s research offers valuable insights into the interplay between parental mentalization and children’s development. By highlighting the importance of understanding emotions, her work not only furthers academic knowledge; it also provides practical tools for parents. 

She distributed pamphlets summarizing her research to parents at various locations, including the Korean church, sparking meaningful conversations about the challenges they face. She plans to extend her outreach to early Head Start programs, hoping to provide support to parents navigating similar issues. 

Choi hopes everyone can draw valuable insights from her research. Her findings suggest that taking the time to reflect on and interpret emotions can yield significant benefits across a wide range of relationships.  

By cultivating emotional awareness and understanding, individuals may not only enhance their mental health but also improve the overall quality and depth of their relationships. 

“Understanding our own and others’ minds matters.”